Embrace Hostility in Howard Co, MD (A Parody Blog)

Anti-Choose Civility Has Gone Commercial?

2009-04-17T14:04:00.004-04:00

I received an email from a friend of mine who saw a new, very crude take on the Choose Civility bumper magnet.

Choose to Kiss It? Maybe it's a person who works for Senate auto insurance?

Some More Brotherhood Against Choose Civility

2009-04-14T12:32:00.003-04:00

Over the weekend, I finally saw my first Choose Hostility sticker on a car. It was rigged up by printing out Host and pasting it over Civ on the original car magnet. Pretty imaginative. I was driving, so I couldn't take a photo.

Then, today, over at JessieX's blog, I saw a new entrant - Choose Insanity. They have some car magnets as well, but also have some fun photos that poke fun at some of the quirkier aspects of HoCo. Welcome!

No Matter the Verb, Hostility is the Word

2009-03-18T11:43:00.002-04:00

A reader sent me a picture he snapped while out and about in the County. It looks like Embrace Hostility has a little competition in the bumper sticker market...

That's ok, though. I hardly earn anything for each bumper sticker sold at the Embrace Hostility store. So long as people are doing something with Hostility, then we're in business.

Revoking One's Civility

2009-03-13T20:10:00.003-04:00

It sounds like there is a reaction to the movement to start the removal of Choose Civility car magnets around the County. Doug Miller of the Howard County Times has spotted it:
One of our loyal readers informed me today that someone took one of
those “Choose Civility in Howard County” bumper magnets off the car of a mutual
acquaintance.

So does someone who commits so uncivil an act as theft then apply
this thing to his own car, admonishing others to behave themselves?

Could this magnet swipe be the work of a new kind of thief, one who
steals out of a sense of irony?
I would imagine it would either be (a) irony or (b) the friend knew that this person was acting in an uncivilized fashion. I mean, really, why should hypocrites be allowed to keep the Choose Civility magnet on their car? If you're a jerk, you shouldn't be allowed to have the bumper magnet.

Better still, how about we have the right to issue add ons to the bumper magnet? Kind of like this...

HoCo Library Admits Choose Civility is Just About Driving Better

2009-03-11T15:37:00.003-04:00

We've been saying all this time that Choose Civility really comes across as nothing more than getting people to drive better. (Which they don't. In fact, they seem to drive worse because of an air of self-assurance that they're better than you because of the bumper sticker, so they can cut you off. After all, you're you.)

Anyway, we got confirmation in visual form from the library in Glenwood. This was passed along by a watchful reader:

This Movement Has Reached Ridiculous Proportions

2009-02-26T22:59:00.004-05:00

Somehow, I got on television for this junk. Recently, I was interviewed by Kathleen Cairns of Fox 45 in Baltimore about this blog. She and I talked for 25 minutes or so, and I got about 20 seconds in the piece. It's TV - that's how it works.

I found my part of it hilarious that was the 20 seconds that she chose. Seriously, it was A Current Affair and The Daily Show at once - but on LOCAL NEWS. It reminded me of the Simpsons episode in which Homer is charged with sexual harassment, when really he just took the gummy Venus de Milo off of the butt of the babysitter. He went on "Rock Bottom" (think Hard Copy) to tell his story. The story was wildly edited to mince his words. The funniest part was that there was a clock behind Homer during the taping. So when the re-edit was done, it moved wildly against the actual time sequence of what Homer said. Too bad I said nothing even remotely "controversial." This was all they could do or they would've wasted 25 minutes of their lives. It that way, it was symbolic of Choose Civility.

And I thought it was equally entertaining that Kathleen was willing to put Choosing Civility to the test. I suggested in our interview that civility is so much more than just 25 rules. She demonstrated it in her piece, though in a way that wasn't really civility. I mean, there are kind homeless folks that wash windows. In New Jersey, people have to have their gas pumped by someone else. It was nice to see an attempt, but proved that the idea of what civility is and what is better behavior than that is easy to miss.

Anyway, if you want to watch the video, here's the link. If you came here because of the story, welcome and I hope you enjoy it. And, if you don't, then be like other people who have scratched their head about this and be civil about it.

Choose Civility, Howard County Citizen!

2009-02-03T11:14:00.002-05:00

Choose Civility in Howard County is no longer. Now, you are being directed to Choose Civility. Instead of showing a geographical preference for where civility should be, the HoCo Library has chosen a directive approach by renaming the program "Choose Civility, Howard County, MD." Personally, I would have preferred an exclamation point at the end. It would look a lot less dictatorial and more inviting.

And then there's this nugget:

The new magnets also will have a logo, a circle of people celebrating that resembles a snowflake or a star.

Oh no. Did they not see the post about the OBX stickers? Now I have to redo the banner of this blog! C'mon!

Also, I was quoted in the piece as the only idiot in the County dumb enough to challenge the civility standard. The HoCo Times acknowledges my existence, but Choose Civility's website still doesn't have any of most posts under their "What People Are Saying" links. :(

You Know About Those OBX Stickers?

2009-01-25T22:31:00.002-05:00

If you've ever driven on the east coast of the United States, you're bound to have seen one of these:

They're the universal sign that you have visited the Outer Banks of North Carolina. And they're also the universal sign that you think you're ultra cool for having visited the OBX. And it's the universal sign that you are definitely, absolutely not cool at all. As someone who lives there full time told me once:

No one who actually lives in the OBX and knows the OBX has an OBX sticker on their car.

So, that slogan should probably carry over to Choose Civility. After all, most people who have the car magnets can't seem to drive very well. They may or may not be civil. Perhaps, then, the credo should be:

No one who drives well or is truly civil has a Choose Civility car magnet on their car.

Embrace Hostility (Sort Of) is Catching On

2009-01-08T10:56:00.002-05:00

Again, stuck in a rut in the Columbia Flier's opine page, I saw a great letter to the editor from Heather Vaughn called "I'll take safety over civility on county's highways." Basically, she takes people to task for having a Choose Civility magnet and then driving like crap.

I wondered, when you decide to go to the Howard County Library to pick up your Choose Civility literature and car magnet, do you also choose to drive like a complete moron once you slap that sticker on your bumper? I understand being conscious of your driving and trying to be civil to others while on the road, but does that sticker magnet make your car go only 35 miles per hour on Route 29 in the left-hand lane, or swerve to cause being cut off on Broken Land Parkway, or run the red light on Harper's Farm Road?

Heather's dead on here. But it also brings up another good point. Basically, people in the county are associating Choose Civility with driving smarter. Was that really the point? Is this money well spent?

If You're Going to Complain, Make It Worthwhile

2009-01-08T10:50:00.003-05:00

I was poking around Explore Howard and the Columbia Flier's editorials the other day. I saw one from December 31, entitled "Time for developer to clean up undeveloped property." The writer, Jay Bonstingl of Wilde Lake, complained that WCI hasn't done anything to beautify the lot where the Plaza Residences were going to be/might not be in downtown.

Visible to all who come to Town Center, this large lot has languished for many months as a blemish in the heart of our otherwise beautiful city. Ground moving equipment was parked there for what seemed like years. Adjacent sidewalks are still torn up, and large strips of ugly black plastic attached to the chain link fence still flap in the breeze, day after day, week after week. The scene is reminiscent of an abandoned inner-city lot.

You gotta be kidding me. I live in downtown, run on the loop around the mall frequently, and pass this lot everyday. I don't even notice it. It's a nicely mowed, grassy lot with a plastic fence around it. Obviously, Jay hasn't spent a lot of time in the more abandoned parts of Baltimore.

What more do you want?

A forest? Then people would complain that their view of the mall is obstructed.

A playground? Oh no, that'd be a hazard for children.

This is one of the few cases where Dr. Forni's very obvious rules for behavior needs some reiteration.

A Civil Curtain Call for Embrace Hostility?

2008-12-31T10:20:00.002-05:00

Well, on another blog, I was accused of going too comformist. Really, talking about real estate development issues will make anyone sound like a square - even if it does interest me. I took the roast in jest and embraced the hostility. Didn't think too much of it.

But, then, I saw today that I got a curtain call from I'm not dead yet.

I would like to plead and beg for the writer of the Embrace Hostility In Howard County blog to start it back up again. We need some power, some force to fight all the "Choose Civility" individuals out there. Bringing back this blog would really be the Civil thing to do.

I can't fight a good idea. Ok, I won't close up shop. What's it matter anyway? If you've read this blog or Columbia Now, you know who's doing the writing. So, consider Embrace Hostility in HoCo back up for business. Sorry, Columbia Talk - I've been talked out of retirement.

I only posted like twice a month anyhow. I can definitely do smartass twice per month.

Embrace Election Results in Howard County and the USA

2008-11-04T23:51:00.005-05:00

I am a registered Republican - one of few in Howard County - because I am a person who believes in fiscal responsibility and that the role of government is to bring us together to solve common problems that we cannot solve on our own. I am socially liberal and think that Americans can best be served by a government that can provide them with base-level acceptable standards of living. It's a tough position to hold given the divisive and poisonous partisan politics in this country.

Republicans and Democrats cannot seem to come together to find sensible solutions to common problems. This campaign seemed, in many ways, to represent that divide more than the elections that resulted in George W. Bush as our 43rd President for two terms.

Tonight's result of the election of Barack Obama as President-elect of the United States will hopefully lead to a mending of that division. While this country may now shift center-left, almost 50% of this country is center or right. We citizens must remember this as we move forward, and I implore our elected officials to do the same.

At the same time, Republicans centrists such as myself have to realize that this election also presented a stark contrast within our own party. We could see it in the ticket that represented our party. John McCain and Sarah Palin could not agree on how to run an election and neither could factions of opinion within the Grand Old Party.

John McCain could not decide if he was the Maverick of 2000, or the man we see now. If the man that delivered his concession speech tonight was the same guy who ran for the last 21 months, perhaps this election would have been closer and the country better off for having heard a well-articulated alternative to the eventual winner.

Centrists can enrich this two-sided discussion. We have ideas, too, that can contribute to the American political and policy debate. Perhaps now really is the time to claim some legitimacy in the American political landscape. Maybe people like me should combine our minds and our ideals, and find a place at the table. It is my hope that, one day, I would not be branded by a letter next to my name, but rather welcomed to the discussion because of the capabilities and thoughts that I have.

I wish President-elect Obama the absolute best because I do feel that he represents many of the things that this country needs and craves. I hope, too, that he has learned from the recent history of the Clinton administration and by the results of this election that progress requires compromise and earnest debate. I believe that President-elect Obama has the wisdom and judgment to know this and to govern accordingly.

The reality is that this country will face challenges way larger than the election of a single man to one office. Our nation faces a deep set of challenges, and the solutions to them will require the contributions of millions. If we can commit as a nation to facing these challenges with humble minds, pure hearts, and endless devotion to a greater cause, then we will be better off than we are today. We can do it. The United States has always been a nation that has found a way. Again, we will find a way as a country to grow and prosper and shine to the world as an example of what can be. Yes, we may disagree on the antidote, but we will cure what ails us because we have to do so.

As a nation, for our survival, we must overcome our problems. And we will. We will.

Congratulations to Senators Obama, Biden, McCain, and Governor Palin. Our country is richer for the debate that this campaign spurred. With great hope, I believe that this country will grow even stronger for the result.

Solciting Prostitution is Not Subject to PM Forni's Rules

2008-10-23T14:59:00.003-04:00

Apparently, soliciting prostitution is "illegal" in Howard County. What a crock.

Howard County police charged 10 people with soliciting prostitution in Jessup Oct. 16 following an undercover operation along Route 1, county police said this week.
During the operation, female officers in plain clothes stood near the intersection of Washington Boulevard and Cedar Avenue -- identified as a problem area by citizens -- to determine whether they would be approached and offered money for sex, police said.

This totally goes against choosing civility, and several of PM Forni's 25 rules of civility.

What about rule 18, "Avoid personal questions?" How about personal questions like, "Are you soliciting a prostitute, sir/madam?" Those are pretty personal to me.

Or maybe rule 15, "Respect other people's space" - space to solicit prostitutes.

Then again, the raid reminds people of rule 21 - "Think twice before asking for favors."

Cancer Should NOT Be Treated With Civility

2008-10-23T14:54:00.002-04:00

Everyone knows someone that has been impacted in some way by cancer. That's not scientific fact, but probably pretty close. In addition to the physical toll it takes on those that suffer from its impacts, it also causes psychological and emotional distress to millions. The Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults is putting on a fundraiser to generate money for the foundation.

Here's the details from Explore Howard:

Oct. 26: Screw Cancer, fundraiser to benefit the Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults. 6-9 p.m. $75. Trapeze Seafood, Grille & Tavern, 8180 Maple Lawn Blvd., Fulton. 888-393-3863. www.ulmanfund.org/screwcancer.

From the Ulman Fund site:

Join us for an evening of food, fun and discover the quality of fine screw-top wines as The Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults supports those stricken with cancer. For over a decade, UCF has enhanced lives by supporting, educating; connecting young adults and their families thriving against this deadly disease.

On my golf blog, Waggle Room, I have recently started a charity auction program to benefit the American Cancer Society for the products that the blog reviews. I fully stand behind this fundraiser and I'm sad that I can't make it.

Embrace Hostility Forum?

2008-10-21T14:30:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking about this and I think it would be kind of fun to get people together from all parts of Howard County (and beyond) to talk about the Choose Civility stuff. I don't mean that I'm going to host a forum with someone exclusively holding my point of view - cough, cough, Howard County Library - but rather an open forum where people who are advocates and naysayers of Choose Civility in Howard County could talk. With or without booze. Maybe with pumpkin carving, like they're having at Merriweather. So, what'd'ya say?

Cute Little Anecdote

2008-10-14T12:57:00.003-04:00

I was doing my quarterly perusal of the Choose Civility website because they update the site with links to stories that they find about themselves. There's a joke in there somewhere, but anyway, a woman named Karen Kleinz has a piece in NSPRA network publication from September about Choose Civility. It's largely the same cursory stuff - tolerance is great (although a lousy standard), everyone should be considered, think about society, etc. But, this part at the end was great:

Of course, often it's very young children who teach us the most powerful lessonsa bout acceptance,inclusion, and kindness. I was reminded of this at the NSPRA Seminar this past July. One of our Canadian members brought his son [Ben] to the Seminar and shared with me that his son was quite impressed with the campaign displays of our candidates for NSPRA President-elect and the Chesapeake Chapter's politically-decorated hospitality booth (complete with life-size cut outs of McCain, Obama and Hillary). So when they found themselves on an elevator with one of the NSPRA candidates, Ben whispered to his dad that "the guy on the elevator with us is famous!" He thought our candidate was running for President of the United States. After his dad explained the difference, unfazed, Ben marched right up and offered his endorsement anyway.

I bet Ben doesn't think our President is a moron.

Earlier in the piece, Karen talked about seeing a bumper sticker calling GWB a moron. But I honestly don't get the connection to this story. Am I a moron for not getting it? I mean, I think GWB has done a terrible job. And what's wrong with thinking that?

Choose Civility Sponsors Conflict Resolution Program

2008-10-14T12:46:00.003-04:00

This from the Baltimore Sun:

The Howard County Library and 40 community partners in the "Choose Civility" initiative - an effort to make the county a national model of respect, consideration, empathy and tolerance - will sponsor a program on self-interest and societal interests, "Why Looking Out for Number One Doesn't Work."

The seminar, which teaches conflict-resolution techniques, will be at 7 p.m. Oct. 20 at the Central Library, 10375 Little Patuxent Parkway, Columbia. Candace A. Olds of Howard Community College's Conflict Resolution Center will speak.

I have nothing against a good negotiation. In fact, in graduate school, I took multiple conflict resolution and negotiation classes as part of my degree program. I found them fascinating. So, I am actually going to give kudos to the Choose Civility people for doing something clever with their initiative.

But, the title of the seminar is all wrong. Negotiation theory today really dissuades people from using the zero-sum game concept - meaning that there has to be a winner and a loser. The title is implying that looking out for yourself doesn't work. In fact, that's not true at all. Looking out for yourself does work in negotiation and dispute resolution when you also attempt to look out for the interests of others involved, where compatible.

The reality is that you should look out for you. Your interests matter. The will of the majority is not always right. Other should be respected and their experiences, opinions, etc, considered, but that doesn't mean that looking out for you should be thrown out the window. Each individual has a right to weigh in - even if incorrectly. There are absolutes sometimes.

There Is a Line Between Civility and Stupidity

2008-10-08T12:19:00.004-04:00

The Howard County police are advising people to take the valuables out of their car thanks to a recent string of car break ins.

What are people leaving in cars?

The thefts continue in part because valuables are left in cars, according to police, including such items as GPS units, laptop computers, stereos, portable music players, purses and briefcases.

I know that Howard County is a nice place to live, and crime is low, but even I would at least have to consider stealing some of that stuff if it was in plain view in a car.

As Jimbo Jones said on The Simpsons, "Five finger discount!"

Heavily Democratic HoCo is Very Civil

2008-10-08T12:12:00.003-04:00

It's election season and there's nothing like a good political fight to completely ruin any level of civil discourse, action, or livelihood. Elections really tend to reduce us to petty children arguing over things that most of us really don't grasp all that well. And, like chimps, what do people do when they don't understand? ~~Throw shit everywhere.~~ Vandalize political signage.

From the Columbia Flier:

As the presidential campaign enters the final month, local Democrats and Republicans are complaining of repeated vandalism to their campaign signs.

Howard County Republicans reported that 12 4-by-8-foot signs, valued at $125 each, had been either pulled down or vandalized in some way since the party began putting them up Sept. 13.

Howard Democrats have not yet erected larger signs, but a party leader said Oct. 6 that in the previous week alone, 38 yard signs, valued at about $1 each, have been vandalized.

Both parties appear to be the victims of the vandalism, er, political expression. But, nothing like using this as an opportunity to take a shot at the other side!

Michael McPherson, chairman of the Howard County Democratic Central Committee, said Democrats had not filed a complaint with the police. “Democrats don’t believe in burdening the police with this kind of activity,” he said. “I’m worried about muggings and purse snatchings and people being killed.”

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

PM Forni Chat with Washington Post

2008-09-22T17:29:00.002-04:00

The WaPo rag had an online chat with PM Forni on Friday. Here's some of the lowlites:

Arlington, Va.: Is there really data that says we're less civil today than we used to be or is this just another "trend" built on anecdotes that the press loves to play up? If there really is evidence, what are the causes?

P.M. Forni: There is plenty of evidence that we are dealing with plenty of rudeness. Less civil than we used to be? Difficult to say for certain. Causes: anonimity, stress, lack of time, lack of restraint.

Way to answer the first question.

Here's a good one:

spot the err, OR: Dear Dan and P.M., I am extremely polite to everyone all the time. Why is everyone else so rude? I just can't understand why others are not as polite as I.

P.M. Forni: They may have not been trained in good manners. They may have less self-control than you do. They may be reacting to stress. They may shifting the burden of their insecurity upon you in the form of rudeness.

Then the real expert - the WaPo staff writer - steps in the talk about the real point of the question:

Dan Zak: Is this a trick question? Looking at life with an "I'm better than everyone" attitude ain't a good starting point. I'm no expert, but I think civility and politeness can't be preceded by haughtiness.

And that's exactly why I'm against this whole concept. The guy who is covering the concept knows it better than the guy who wrote the book.

How Do You Make Kids More Civil?

2008-09-11T15:48:00.003-04:00

Imprison them in school for longer! That's what the county may be looking at doing by shortening Spring Break.

Typically, the system's spring break is a full week, beginning the Monday before Good Friday and extending through Easter Monday, both of which are state-mandated holidays.

However, several Maryland counties have a shorter spring break that begins the Thursday before Good Friday and lasts through Easter Monday.

Proponents say a shorter spring break is preferable because it allows the school year to end earlier in June and also allows for more days of instruction before high-stakes state assessment tests, administered to students in the spring.

Board member Sandra French said it would be her preference to "frontload" as much instructional time as possible before the state tests are administered.

Yes, the kids would get out a little sooner and enjoy some more of June without school. But are we doing this merely because of standardized tests that really don't prove anything except the schools that we know aren't doing well? Has the concept of teaching to the test and its drawbacks not caught on with educators?

I would much rather my kid have a few nice spring days off, away from the grind, than score 5 points better on a state assessment that is probably poorly written anyway.

[EDIT: last sentence, score was school - I could've pawned it off as edumacational irony, but I didn't.]

Choosing To Outsmart Civility

2008-09-02T12:39:00.002-04:00

The Pack Shack in Ellicott City outsmarted the Choose Civility types who think that porno stores are part of some kind of awful problem in society. Yeah, yeah, I know we have much looser morals and behavior than we used to, but that's just because hippies from the 60s are raising kids now to be sissies with feelings, and opinions.

Anyway, the Pack Shack got around a county ordinance that labeled it a bookstore and ended a nearly 10 year effort to try to shut the place down. How'd they do it? They placed more non-porno material on their store shelves.

From Explore Howard:

Inspectors with the Department of Planning and Zoning made a recent visit to the Pack Shack, 8445 Baltimore National Pike, in Ellicott City, and decided it no longer met the county's definition of an adult business.

The rules state an adult bookstore is a business having 20 percent or more of its total inventory or floor space dedicated to adult material.

Non-pornographic books and other items were added by Pack Shack owners so it would no longer be subject to the zoning rules, which were passed in 2004 and do not allow such businesses to operate within 300 feet of homes or within 1,000 feet of other adult stores.

So, instead, Ken Ulman is going to go after the Love Craft in North Laurel. I still don't quite understand the big deal. All you have to do is type "nude girls" into Google and you'd find porno. At least if people get off of their ass and go to a porno store, they are keeping the money in the community economy.

Civility in Action, Volume 1

2008-08-25T07:34:00.002-04:00

Got this email to the Hostility in HoCo inbox over the weekend while I was in Chicago. It's a great city, they're very nice, and they don't need PM Forni's book. (Yeah, yeah, south side.) Anyway, keep the good pictures coming of people embracing hostility - or choosing civility.

HoCo Police Announce DUI Checkpoint

2008-08-19T14:11:00.004-04:00

The Baltimore Sun has the news today that the HoCo Police will be setting up a DUI checkpoint this week.

Howard County police plan to conduct a sobriety checkpoint this week, though they did not say where.

Police said in a news release that eight people died in alcohol-related crashes last year and that 1,340 people were charged with DUI in Howard. So far this year, police said, eight people have died and 801 have been charged.

In publicizing checkpoints, "police hope that by promoting awareness about the dangers of drinking and driving, the number of drivers under the influence will decline," the release said.

I do not endorse drunk driving. It costs lives needlessly when there are a lot of options out there.

In Maryland, though, officers must provide an opportunity for drivers to turn around and avoid the sobriety checkpoint. Further, an officer at said checkpoint cannot use that action as grounds to pull over a car. (Not true in some other states.) So, people could see the lights and signs and just turn right around - causing more damage.

Add to that the fact that they infringe on 4th Amendment rights, despite William Rehnquist's findings in Michigan State Police v. Sitz (1990). The SCOTUS remanded the decision back to the Michigan State Supreme Court, which eventually deemed checkpoints illegal. It does not seem that the SCOTUS has made a ruling on the legality of sobriety checkpoints since - at least of real significance.

Interestingly enough, I had found a number of examples in which the number of DWI/DUI arrests has dramatically increased because of these checkpoints. There is a critical balance to keep in mind, though - the obvious civil desire to stop drunk driving while not violating civil liberties to act without suspicion.

This is an aside to the larger point that the police have told you that they're coming to get you some night this week. So, in the spirit of Embracing Hostility Against Your Civil Liberties, if you're going to get smashed, make sure you can either walk, bicycle, or cab it back home. This way, you don't maim anyone, and you don't get arrested through Draconian law enforcement tactics.

Just to Show The Movement Has Heart

2008-08-19T14:04:00.002-04:00

This picture is fully endorsed by Embrace Hostility in HoCo. It is impossible not to find this picture from the front page of Explore Howard cute. (But, if you don't, that's ok.) To boot, the animal - I think, a cow - could not appear more disinterested by the child sleeping on it.

LOL at Stupid White Supremecists

2008-08-14T16:06:00.002-04:00

So, apparently a neo-Nazi group thought they could pull the old switcheroo in delivering some free papers to Elkridge residents. They delivered about 40 papers in the area to residents and wrapped them in propaganda and promotional materials for their supremacy group.

When Gail Sigel of Elkridge picked up a copy of Howard County Issues on her front lawn on Aug. 3, she was shocked to find what it was wrapped in: a one-page circular that blamed Jews for slavery in America and urged readers to "join the people who are fighting to make a safer future for white children."

She wasn't the only one upset by the circular.

Mona Brinegar, publisher of Howard County Issues, a quarterly of local opinion, said she was angered by the neo-Nazi group's use of her publication.

" 'Horrified' comes to mind," Brinegar said.

The circular was produced by the National Socialist Order of America -- Maryland chapter, based in Elkridge. The National Socialist Order of America is identified on various Web sites as a neo-Nazi organization recently formed after a split with the National Socialist Movement.

Members of the group had taken the newspapers from a local library and then wrapped the circulars around them, according to Tim Brand, a group spokesman.

Why 40? That's the best you could do? 40? That's pitiful, lazy, or both. That's not a campaign. There are more people that get a sno-ball in Elkridge each day than that. And the rationale for doing this is simply brilliant (sarcastic).

Brand said the circulars were sent out as part of a recruitment effort the group steps up over the summer.

"It picks up during the summer because we have better weather," Brand said of the recruitment efforts.

"Every time we do a drop like that we'll get some complaints but about five or 10 people will write us letters (of interest)," Brand said.

What idiot would read this flier and suddenly determine that their hatred is so strong that they have to join a group of other hate-filled people?

And I suppose that the group must hate the cold, too, because they're too lazy to recruit in the winter time. Nicer weather means better conditions for hate-mongering. I did not know that.

You mean to tell me that a group of lazy, stupid, hate-filled people actually GAIN members from such a stunt?

This is way dumber than a Choose Civility car magnet. At least the magnets won't get soggy in the rain, run ink, etc. And who reads the Howard County Issues anyway? In Spaceballs, the famous quote is that "evil will win because good is dumb." Might want to check that.

Choosing Civility Means Losing Taste Buds

2008-08-11T11:47:00.003-04:00

Explore Howard is a news aggregator of the Sun, Flier, The View, etc. On the site, they have message boards with exactly 8 subscribers. One of the threads on the board was fantastic - best restaurant in Howard County. There are five posts in the thread.

The nominees:
Clyde's (3 votes)
Tomato Palace (owned by Clyde's) (2)
Hunan Manor
Sushi Sono
Great Sage

These are basically all Columbia lakefront restaurants and none deserve consideration for best in the county, particularly since Clyde's is a chain. How about Jordan's Steakhouse, for starters?

Have people lost sight (or taste) of what is good food?!

Breaking Down the Civility Rules

2008-08-07T16:42:00.003-04:00

According to Forni's book, here are the 25 rules of considerate conduct with a breakdown from yours truly.

Pay attention - Huh? I'm sorry, I was asleep.
Acknowledge others - I suppose that Forni didn't mean by whipping it out, but rather with a hello or a wave.
Think the best - The best of or about what? Is this supposed to be some call for everyone to be optimistic? What about realism?
Listen - Deaf people need not apply.
Be inclusive - I play in the HoCo kickball league. I definitely would not include some of those people in the league if I had my way.
Speak kindly - All the time? "Gee, that murdered in Wilde Lake sure is a family man."
Don't speak ill - We should probably just lump six and seven together. And from my above sentence, I should remove "murderer" since that term has ill connotations.
Accept and give praise - Not either/or?
Respect even a subtle "no" - No does mean no, unless following with "t normally."
Respect others' opinions - No matter how wrong someone is, they don't deserve to be ridiculed.
Mind your body - But, for God's sake, don't do it in public. Like on the Fitness Trail off of Lake Kittamaqundi.
Be agreeable - Sure.
Keep it down (and rediscover silence) - Merriweather Post Pavilion says Hi.
Respect other people's time - Hold on a minute while I think of something.
Respect other people's space - We have a list of crimes dedicated to this rule. It's not ground breaking.
Apologize earnestly - I'm sorry for writing this blog.
Assert yourself - Wait! No I'm not!
Avoid personal questions - Like, "Have you ever seen a dead body?"
Care for your guests - I guess I will put that smallpox blanket away now.
Be a considerate guest - A perfect illustration of this is burping aloud after a great meal.
Think twice before asking for favors - The lesson is that hiring a prostitute is still against the law, even if it's called a favor.
Refrain from idle complaints - I hate having to pay $4/gallon for gas.
Accept and give constructive criticism - You suck. No, I do not suck.
Respect the environment and be gentle to animals - Kicking a dog is out, huh? Ooookkkk...fine.
Don't shift responsibility and blame - Don't tell me what to do. You're the one who made the list.

Submit Civility in Action!

2008-08-07T15:30:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I was out at the Giant off of Cradlerock to pick up some food. In walking up the parking lot into the store, I saw someone parked in one and a half spaces with their Nissan. They must have wanted to flash that they were being civil because they had a Choose Civility car magnet on their car. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a picture of it. That gave me an idea - have readers submit pictures of civility in action in Howard County.

So, with your cell phone, digicam, or by artist interpretive drawing, send civility in action photos to hostilityinhoco@gmail.com.

The Church Is Against Choose Civility

2008-08-05T23:41:00.003-04:00

Well, at least one is in Howard County - the Kittamaqundi Community Church. And here's the pastor of the church, Heather Kirk-Davidoff, writing a blog post to explain it.

Does the Internet Need Civility?

2008-08-05T23:34:00.003-04:00

Anita Wagner thinks so, in response to a column by Jenny Block at the Huffington Post.

Today I have a pretty thick hide, but there was a time early in the popular use of the internet that I was treated like crap by people on the email list I moderated. I was called names (nazi) and the recipient of rude comments for insisting on civility. Thankfully this standard weeded out the nasty people, but not without throwing cold water on the list atmosphere where it took a while for people to feel brave enough to do more than lurk.

It so happens that I live in Howard County, Maryland, where a "Choose Civility" campaign is under way. Choose Civility is an ongoing community-wide initiative, led by the Howard County Library, to position Howard County as a model of civility. The project intends to enhance respect, empathy, consideration and tolerance in Howard County.

It would be wonderful if a similar initiative were undertaken on the internet.

Talk about a wet blanket. What fun is the Internet without making fun and being rude? I dare you to go to failblog.org and tell me that incivility on the Web isn't only necessary, but hilarious.

I mean, would civilblog.org be funny at all?

PM Forni Got Beat Up a Lot in School

2008-08-05T23:29:00.002-04:00

If he tried antics like what he advocates in his book, like this:

An example of the user-friendly advice in The Civility Solution for dealing with such sticky situations is "The SIR Sequence," Forni's shorthand for "state, inform and request." Namely:

• State the facts.
• Inform the other person of the impact he or she has had on you.
• Request that the hurtful behavior not be repeated.

"Do so politely, firmly, and unapologetically," Forni says. "And do it sooner rather than later. You will be more effective and won't have to dread doing it in the future."

For example, if someone cut in front of you in line at the supermarket, you can tell them that they did that, let you know that it pisses you off, and tell them to not do it again. By the time you do that, they've unloaded the cart and they won't have to do it again.

Partners in Criticism

2008-08-05T23:26:00.001-04:00

As I decided to more actively Embrace Hostility - by Googling "choose civility in Howard County" - I found this blog post that I enjoyed. He pretty much outlines what I've said on here. Read it if you want. If not, whatever.

Does a Magnet Work?

2008-08-05T23:20:00.003-04:00

Dennis Lane wrote a column about this subject in October 2007 for the Business Monthly, in relationship to going to Lowe's for light bulbs.

[A]s I was searching for light bulbs or a salesperson, I became agitated. I mean, here I was in a new Lowe's store whose arrival in our fair county I had eagerly awaited, and that same frustration I had grown accustomed to at Home Depot was bubbling up inside me. So I took a deep breath.
On my way into the store I had passed a car with one of those "Choose Civility in Howard County" stickers on it. I decided that instead of getting angry perhaps I could simply choose civility.

Somehow, I don't believe Lane - particularly because he talks about the inherent cynicism he has about choosing civility.

I'll bet that more than a few of the folks who have these on their cars don't even know about the 25 rules of considerate conduct. Some people will put any old sticker on their car, provided it's free. In fact, just last week I got cut off in traffic by a car sporting a "Choose Civility" sticker. Did that person forget rule No. 15 ("Respect other people's space")?
And why Choose Civility in Howard County?
Does that mean I can choose to go back to being my old uncivil self when I cross the county line?
Now don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the Howard County Library. It's among the top ranked public libraries in the country. I can't think of a better local organization to promote civility.
I hope it works, though I admit I'm skeptical. The reality is that being civil is not always easy, especially when confronted with frustration and things that don't make sense.

My question is this: when someone from HoCo goes to MoCo with this bumper sticker, do the MoCo drivers laugh at HoCo?

People Are Stealing Choose Civility Magnets

2008-08-05T23:10:00.003-04:00

Look, this entire Embrace Hostility movement is about apathy - not hatred. Columbianites and Howard County residents should have every right not to give a shit about being civil to others living in HoCo or elsewhere. But, apparently, people are stealing magnets from other people's cars. Seriously?

From a local blog:

A few weeks ago I noticed my magnet, which I had placed on the back of my car the day I got it, was missing. I displayed it mostly to let other drivers know that I’m non-aggressive, enjoy a little distance from the vehicle in front of me, and often try to help other motorists in a pickle (I let them in so lay off your horn and my a$$). I did not display it to say: “Hey, living in one of the top ten wealthiest counties in the country entitles me to tell others how to behave.” Nor to imply whoever sees the magnet hasn’t already chosen to act civilly, as if there should be a choice. But I know I could often use a reminder, and I’m not alone, especially behind the wheel.

There should be a choice. People should have the right to keep to themselves and be completely inactive in their community. Still, stealing a car magnet is pretty ridiculous.

But why would someone swipe the magnet? It is convenient. A magnet is much easier to lift than an adhesive bumper sticker that’s baked on after a year of sunshine. But your neighbor’s newspapers aren’t tied down and their mailbox is unlocked; do you help yourself because of accessibility?

No. I don't want to read the Columbia Flier or Examiner.

Perhaps the message “Choose Civility” filled this individual (or roaming gang of magnet lifters, or politically charged censors) with such ire, he/she/they just had to pull it off my car, but kindly resisted keying my vehicle. Wow, if “Choose Civility” pisses you off that much, keep it.

Makes sense to me. People who don't want to choose civility want to censor that movement.

Embrace Hostility is about accepting how things are, which is pretty darn good. That means sitting on your ass, doing nothing, and being selfish. It has nothing to do with being so petty as to steal free magnets off of minivans.

Yeesh.

The HoCo Library is Pretty Arrogant

2008-08-05T23:04:00.003-04:00

Scouring the Interweb for the latest on choosing civility, I saw this from the HoCo Library in the letters to the Sun.

From Val Gross, CEO of HoCo Library:

Together, we created a vision: Howard County is a model of civility. It's an invitation to enhance respect, consideration, and tolerance in Howard.

Some people ask, "Why in Howard County?" We believe the campaign is flourishing because we strive for the ideal. We aspire to live our vision. Yet it is easy to forget, and people appreciate the reminder, which is why the car magnets - for which we thank our generous sponsors, including the Horizon Foundation, Friends of Howard County Library, and Howard County General Hospital, A Member of Johns Hopkins Medicine - are so popular.

It is much easier to be civil with other people when the median income for the county is one of the highest in ~~the state~~ the country. Rich people like to keep things on the down low. They don't sell drugs on the street. They take that shit inside.

Still others ask, "Why has it been so successful?" Because civility is relevant to every aspect of our lives. The term includes cultural norms as well as universal values.

Civility is also a Howard County hallmark. We are an exceptionally civil community. Choose Civility brings visibility to what is a key component of our extraordinary quality of life.

I have to tell you that HoCo has been pretty civil (read: crime free) for an awfully long time. I don't think that bumper stickers - nay, MAGNETS - are making that concept stick.

This Civility Garbage is Spreading

2008-08-05T23:01:00.002-04:00

Apparently, Iowa State University is really buying into choosing civility. I guess it's easy to be civil when it's just you and the cows.

Embrace Hostility Paraphernalia

2008-08-05T22:55:00.003-04:00

So, people have been stopping me on the street when they see me walking about downtown Columbia in my Embrace Hostility in Howard County t-shirt. They ask me where I got it, and they all seem disappointed when I tell them that I had it made. Well, now, I'm making the t-shirt available on Zazzle from the Embrace Hostility Store link on the sidebar. There are also bumper stickers and trucker hats as well. (Hey, why not, it's free to print.) If you'd like to get in on the Embrace Hostility movement, head over to the store and get your gear. And do it in a hostile fashion.

People Choosing Civility? I Call Bullshit.

2008-05-13T10:41:00.004-04:00

This one comes from the Washington Post on April 25. Writer Mary Otto seems to be thinking that this is catching on here.

There are 40,000 "Choose Civility" magnets around suburban Howard County, Md., and more on the way. Some adorn cars; others sit on office desks as reminders.

Yeah, minivans and Priuses. But I do not see many on SUVs. That's because SUVs scream hostility with their gas guzzling, awesome V8s that could make a hybrid into a metal heap. I am so glad I drive a SUV.

I digress, though. Having a magnet != choosing civility. It means having a magnet.

Later in the article, Otto speaks with Dr. Forni, who got us into this mess in the first place. He recalls the moment he decided to write his very obvious book.

He remembers the moment clearly, although it was more than a decade ago. He was giving a lecture on "The Divine Comedy" at the Baltimore campus, and looked out over the earnest young faces.
"I would like very much that they know everything about Dante," he thought. But more urgently, "I wanted them to be kind human beings."

This seems like a lateral career move for Forni. He was lecturing on hell and realized that no one was listening. So he decided to write a book that the county adopted which attempts to alleviate hell. Subsequently, Howard County library decides to adopt the book and alleviated hell with car magnets. Wait? Not yet? Oh.

Welcome to the Blog

2008-05-13T10:24:00.003-04:00

Wait, no, you get the hell out of here. Even better still, I don't care if you're here or not - or if you like what you see. I'm completely indifferent to the popularity of this blog. But, since you're here, welcome. I'm having such a hard time grappling with this Choose Civility movement in Howard County. There are just so many problems with it.

Why would I want to only choose civility? What would stop me from going above and beyond that and choose to be downright chipper?

Then there's the geography problem. I mean, civility only in Howard County? I don't know that I could stomach that. I live here and I hate being places where people are too nice. I didn't go to a Catholic high school (Archbishop Spalding) because the people were TOO nice. I just want people to be ok with me and not stab me in my condo parking lot. That's not civility - that's staying the hell out of my way.

Also, what happens if I get used to this wave of civility and think it is the norm for other places? I am pretty sure that choosing civility has not caught on in east Baltimore. Apparently they are considering it in College Park, where I went to college. Still, that is PG County. You had better believe they are going to reject this business coming from hoity toity HoCo.

So, this blog is really an effort to come to grips with, grope, and downright molest the Choose Civility movement. It will be full of ridicule, analysis, and genuine discussion sometimes. Stop by when you can, or at least, don't cyberstab me on Facebook.